Save My Marriage – Who Can Help?
Are you starting to get the feeling that every option you could think of to save your marriage has been exhausted and you would like nothing more then to just stomp your way into a marriage counselors’ office and yell, “Help me save my marriage, please!” Other then the stomping around and yelling part, you’ve got the right idea about getting advice from someone other then yourself, but who can help?
Give friends a try.
Do you have any friends who were going through a rocky marriage that is happy now? Ask them what they did. It doesn’t have to be just friends around your age either. Couples that have been together for a long time usually have a goldmine of advice they are happy to share on marriage problems.
Even if an older couple seem to be perfectly happy now it does not mean that they always were. The only problem with asking friends is that there advice is limited to what they have used that worked for them and just because it worked for them does not mean it will work for you.
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Search online forums.
Searching the Internet is a great way to get information on just about anything you can think of and marriage is no different. The great things about asking for help in forums is that not only will you get a ton of different view points but you can stay anonymous.
The downside to using forums is that just one “help me save my marriage” post is not going to do it. The other thing to consider is it is not a real time, back and forth conversation so it becomes much harder to get to the bottom of your root problem and find a solution that works.
Another option to consider is marriage counseling.
Usually one of the first questions your friends will ask you when you tell them about your rocky marriage is if you’ve thought about going to counseling. There is a reason they ask that. Going to see a professional who has years of training solving marital problems can be a great help.
The only problem is going to be getting your spouse to go. You are either going to hit a wall with them thinking your marriage can’t be saved or that it will miraculously fix itself. If your partner feels either of those don’t give up quite yet. While you want to avoid pressuring or begging, simple logic can work wonders.
Going to counseling can help, of course, but it is in no way a cure all. The average marriage counselors success rate is only around the 30% mark. That is definitely not high enough to go shouting “Save my marriage” at a counselor.
Self-help books can help.
If you’ve been looking online for tips, you’ve probably run into a few of those ebooks that provide guidance for working through a rough patch in a marriage even when one partner is ready to call it quits. They may not seem like much, but in reality, the best of these can be surprisingly effective.
Most of these plans were developed by highly experienced marriage counselors who found a “formula” for what works, so they usually have a success rate higher than that of most marriage counselors.
Whatever you do, don’t delude yourself into thinking the problems between you and your spouse will disappear of their own accord. It’s not enough to sit and wonder “Who can help me save my marriage?” You need to decide where you’re going to go for sound advice and act on that advice as soon as possible. The longer you put it off, the harder your problems will be to solve.
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